Finding "It"

I have a lot to put out into the world, and I have not found the outlet for it yet.

I feel like I don't want to complain right now. I'm not complaining. I have family and friends, love, and health. What else is there really? Tolstoy said, "love and be loved, that is the only reality in the world, all else is folly." I have a lot of love in my life, I always have, many different types of love, and I haven't had my fill yet. I don't know if I ever will. As great as love is, and how important it is to me, I know that I need self-fulfillment. I have a need to prove myself to myself. And I guess I also have a need to share with people, to connect with people, to give and share something. I know the next few years of my life will be defined by me trying to figure out how to do that. It could possibly take a lot longer than a few years. If one were calculating based solely on my overall general pokiness, it could very likely take me my entire lifetime. But spending a lifetime searching for the one thing, the one "it," that I can be completely head-over-heels passionate about, doesn't really sound so bad. At least I'm still searching, right?

I'll know when I find it. I'll know when I am finally doing something that allows me to utilize everything in me and share that with people. I feel like that is one of our most basic needs as humans, the need to share with others what we have inside us, to connect somehow, to connect what we are feeling. We go crazy with our own thoughts.